The Tale of Cubone and Entei
by Noruinivnes
Summary: One-shot.  Cubone has always wondered why all of her kind live alone in the mountains.  She goes out into the world and meets an unlikely friend.  Not a fluff fic.  Slightly crack fic.


Author's note: This is just a silly thing I created. I suppose it would be considered crackfic? Anyways, enjoy, and don't take it too seriously. Also, I don't own pokemon.

**The Story of Cubone and Entei  
**  
There once was a young female Cubone who was very lonely. None of the other Cubones would talk to her, for they were quiet and solitary folk. When she was finally an adult, Cubone left the mountain where she lived to find friends.

It wasn't long before she stumbled upon a young male Abra. "Will you be my friend?" she asked.

"Of course," the Abra replied. Cubone was so overcome with joy that she raced forward and hugged Abra. Unbeknownst to her, however, Abra was a trickster. He teleported himself and the affectionate Cubone to the top of a mountain miles away, and left her there with a giggle. Cubone was disheartened, but still determined to find a friend.

After another day of walking, Cubone came upon a strange Pokémon. He had blazing eyes and a flowing mustache. Cubone was captivated by his grace as he leapt from peak to peak.

"Wait!" she cried as he ran past. At the sound of her voice, the Pokémon stopped and turned around.

"What?" he asked, his voice a strange contrast of melody and petulance.

"Will you be my friend?" Cubone asked.

"Yes," said the Pokémon, accepting her friend request.

"What's your name?"

"Entei."

Weeks passed with Cubone and Entei content to just have fun together – swimming, racing, playing Connect Four. Though Cubone had a hard time keeping up with Entei, he didn't mind letting her win a *few* races. In return, she whooped his ass at Connect Four. All in all, they had a peaceful relationship, consisting mostly of giving each other small trinkets and playing games. The trouble started when they actually talked to each other.

Cubone and Entei were very critical Pokémon with very different views of the world. As much as she wanted a friend, Cubone couldn't help but correct Entei's grammar. And much though he thought his new friend was cute, Entei couldn't help but point out flaws in Cubone's arguments caused by her inattention to detail and vague language. Their views on everything from the Harry Potter books to randomness were as different as could be. And to top it all off, if there was a reflective surface nearby Entei would never meet Cubone's eyes when they were talking.

Conversation put a large strain on the relationship. Now that they had started talking, they could hardly stop and go back to the carefree days of Connect Four. However, their relationship survived until one day, they had a conversation that struck the final blow.

Cubone, Entei, and Abra were having an everyday conversation about Marxist Communism when Cubone proposed, "Sperm banks are communist!"

Entei's eyes glowed with passion. "Sperm banks are the definition of capitalism."

"Yes, but Marxism hates marriage, so in a small sense, they are," Cubone replied.

"Having a wide selection of providers for a single service is capitalism. In this case the providers are the men who needed money," he shot back.

"That's not what I meant!" She cried in reply. "Why are you always twisting my words?"

For a split second, Cubone's and Entei's eyes met. It was in that instant, in the heat of a passionate argument, that they realized their love. Entei looked away, embarrassed, but Cubone continued to stare.

Entei gazed into the distance. He focused his mind on a volcano off to his right and caused it to erupt. The ground rumbled with the force. Magma, ash, and debris soared into the air. The feeling of destruction and power was euphoric.

"Answer me!" Cubone demanded.

Entei ignored her.

"What do you want?" she shouted.

Entei looked into her eyes at last, but could only see himself and the erupting volcano reflected in their depths.

"I'm sorry," he replied, "but I want to go make more volcanoes erupt." He turned away and leapt into the distance. Cubone tried to follow, but couldn't keep up. She sniffled at the loss of her friend and love. She finally understood why the other Cubones lived alone. With a heavy sigh she walked back to her mountain and lived there alone to the end of her days.


End file.
